28. A Father Forgives All Possible Mistakes of Children | Way of Living


God Kabir has stated that a father forgives all the offences of his son or daughter: -

Avgun mere Baap Ji, baksho garib nawaaj |
Jo main poot kapoot hun, to bhi Pita ko laaj ||

Rambhakt’s wife passed away. At that time, his son was three years old. An incident had occurred in his relations that had shaken him. The story is as follows: -

His maternal uncle was nearly ten years older than his sister, that is, Rambhakt’s mother. The maternal uncle had two sons. Rambhakt’s maternal aunt died. His maternal uncle remarried. The second wife gave birth to a son. The second wife started feeling jealous of the sons of the first one. She thought that there is 15 acre land. It will be divided into three. She fed ground glass in milk and food to those two children. Due to which, they gradually became ill and died. The doctor told that the children have ingested glass. As a result of which, they have died. One day, his wife told a neighbour, “I did this to those children. Now my son has got fifteen acre land.” That lady told it to my maternal uncle. My maternal uncle used to love the younger maternal aunt a lot and used to trust her. He could not believe it. One day, younger maternal aunt was telling this to her brother, “I did this. Your nephew has got fifteen acre land.” My maternal uncle was also hearing this as he was naturally standing outside the window. My maternal aunt’s brother said, “Sister! You have commited a crime. Where will you keep this sin? From today onwards, I will not even come to see your face.” My maternal uncle’s mind was about to explode. He abandoned his home and came to his sister’s place, that is, he spent the rest of his life at our (Rambhakt’s) place. After a few years, the son born from the younger maternal aunt also died. The younger maternal aunt eloped with someone. Later we came to know that, that man snatched her jewellery, killed her and threw her in a well. When the police came to know about it, that man was hanged. Recalling this destructive Mahabharat, Rambhakt did not remarry. He used to keep his son with him. While ploughing the fields, he used to carry his son on his shoulders. When he used to get tired, he used to lay him under the tree. He used to himself prepare food, himself give him a bath and wash the clothes. Somehow the boy grew up. He married him off. Still he used to do all the chores. His son also used to help him in work, but he used to himself do the hard jobs. Old age crept on him. He could not do any work. The daughter-in-law started perceiving him as a waste of money. Due to which, she started giving plain, simple and stale food to her father-in-law. She did not even use to give him a stomachful of food. The boy used to ask, “Father! Are you being looked after well?” The father used to say, “Son! There is no shortcoming. A very fortunate daughter-in-law has come. She takes special care of me.” The daughter-in-law also used to hear this. She used to torture him even more thinking that – “My husband does not know about this, and this old man is also unaware of my trick.” One day, the boy saw that his father did not get proper food, so he asked his wife about it. She started making excuses that – ‘One has to eat according to one’s means. You do not care about the house. The entire house is being run by me. I know how to manage the expenses.’ One day the old man felt lightheaded and fell down. He broke his leg. The doctor told, “He has developed physical weakness due to malnutrition. Give him half a litre of milk twice a day. Feed him fresh food.” The doctor went away. The wife said, “In this way, we will become bankrupt.” Her husband i.e. the old man’s son also agreed with her. They did not take care of the old man. The old man’s in-laws came to meet him when they heard about his injury. They asked, “Are your son and daughter-in-law taking good care of you?” Rambhakt said, “Do not even ask. May God give such a son and daughter-in-law to everyone. They do not let me suffer at all. I have got injured as a result of some sinful deed.” In the same village, two sisters had got married. One with Rambhakt, and the other in the neighbourhood. When they went to their second daughter’s place, they came to know that nobody is taking care of that Rambhakt. Even his son is good-for-nothing. Rambhakt’s in-laws could not believe this as they had heard from Rambhakt himself that there is no shortcoming in his care. When after some time they again went to Rambhakt’s house, at that time he was eating stale chappati by soaking it in water. They cried on seeing this. They called his son and rebuked him - “You should feel ashamed. Do you know how he has brought you up?” The boy’s wife also came there. They both said, “We will only take care of him like this.” Rambhakt said, “You may please go. Do not cause conflict in the house. I am getting whatever is destined for me. I cannot see my son distressed.” Rambhakt’s Paternal Aunt’s son was a Satsangi. He used to advice Rambhakt a lot that – “You should devote some time in bhakti of God. You should come with me to listen to the satsang (spiritual discourse) of a saint.” Rambhakt used to say, “I will worship my son. May he remain happy! - this is my only wish.” His Paternal Aunt’s son said, “If you have finished worshipping your son, then there is still time for you to earn some good deeds.” Even then, he said, “I am living my life by seeing my son and daughter-in-law.” After a lot of persuasion, Rambhakt went to the Satsang with his maternal aunt’s son Ramniwas. Then Ramniwas took him to his house. He got him medicine and fed him good food. He kept Rambhakt with him for many months. Rambhakt became very firm on bhakti. When he went to his home, he said to his son and daughter, “Children! To date I have not asked for anything from you. Today I am begging for one thing. You may please come once with me to Satsang.” They said, “Who will look after the animals and the children in our absence?” Rambhakt said, “Son can stay at home. Daughter-in-law and grandchildren may come with me.” They did the same. The daughter-in-law listened to the teachings of the Satsang, and saw that male and female devotees, who had been going to the satsang for a long time, were serving all the devotees just as special guests are taken care of at one’s home. They were taking special care of the old, ill, and disabled devotees. It is taught in the satsang that God is pleased if one has compassion towards all living beings. It is a prime duty of a human being to help the distressed and the helpless.

Daya dharm ka mool hai, paap mool abhimaan |
Kah Kabir dayavaan ke paas rahe Bhagwan ||

            A female devotee next to whom Rambhakt’s daughter-in-law was sitting said to her, “Sister! You may also do some service.”

            “Satsang Statements”: - Gurudev ji tells – “One, who will serve and do bhakti, will only get its result. If I will eat food, my stomach will get filled. If you will eat, your stomach will get filled. All the living beings are children of God. You may serve them thinking that they are children of the Master. Like, a man’s daughter was 8-9 years old. He had kept a maid servant to take care of her. When the maid used to take her to school in summers, she used to keep the umbrella over her Master’s daughter and herself used to bear the heat. Due to this, the Master used to remain happy and used to give her a salary. Thinking this, you must all look after those who belong to you and those who don’t. Service of father-in-law, mother-in-law, service of young and old, everyone’s respect is your prime duty. If you will serve your mother-in-law, father-in-law, parents and others who are dependent on you, then God will make arrangements for your care. You should also bring your young and grown up children with you to satsang. Even the children will develop the habit of serving the young and old, and will acquire good behaviour. Those children on growing up will serve you (when you will become old) too in the same way. Like, a daughter leaving one father and mother comes to new mother (mother-in-law) and father (father-in-law). The biological mother and father were her companions only until now. They brought her up and entrusted her to the new mother and father. It is the duty of the mother-in-law and father-in-law that they love the daughter who comes to their house as their own daughter. They should not discriminate between the new daughter and their biological daughter, that is a root cause of conflict. A daughter-in-law should adjust herself according to the circumstances of the new house. She should practice less of the behaviour she had at her mother’s house. Now this (in-law’s place) only is the family of the daughter-in-law.

            Story with a moral: - A daughter-in-law used to cause a lot of grief to her mother-in-law. She used to feed her mother-in-law in a potsherd like dogs are fed. She used to occasionally clean it. Her son got married. After some time, her mother-in-law died. She said to her daughter-in-law, “Break this potsherd and throw it outside.” The daughter-in-law said, “Mother-in-law! I will feed you also in this potsherd. You have inflicted lots of atrocities on the old lady.” She realised her fault and cried bitterly. The daughter-in-law was wise. She did not break that potsherd till the evening. The potsherd seemed to be an enemy to her mother-in-law. The daughter-in-law said, “Mother! I have listened to satsangs (spiritual discourses). I will not do a wrong deed.” Saying this, she broke the potsherd. Due to her sinful deeds, the mother-in-law developed cancer. She used to scream the whole day. The daughter-in-law used to serve her with full dedication. But she used to say, “Mother-in-law! I will serve you with full dedication, but I will not be able to share your sins. You will have to yourself bear this pain. Had you listened to the satsang, you would not have to suffer like this.” Then that wicked woman said, “Daughter! I am a big sinner. Can I also be absolved? I also want to take initiation.” The girl belonged to a Satsangi house. She knew that sinful deeds are destroyed by doing bhakti after taking initiation. Those who have more sins will only benefit from doing bhakti as their sins will reduce, and if they continue to do bhakti until their last breath while abiding by the code of conduct, then they can also get a human life in future. In Satsang, Gurudev ji explains by giving an example that, for instance, if someone’s cloth is less dirty, then it is cleaned with little effort. If it is dirtier, then it becomes clean after washing it two-three times with soap and water. If someone has made it excessively dirty and has other stains too, then it gets cleaned by drycleaning. If one is determined to clean it, then even the blackened clothes of a mechanic can be cleaned. The girl knew that her mother-in-law has acquired the state of a mechanic. Nevertheless, one only gets benefit by acquiring the refuge of God. With this motive, she got her mother-in-law initiated. After some time, the pain of cancer reduced a bit. On listening to the satsang, she cried thinking, “Parents have so many hopes from their son and daughter-in-law. I, the sinner, behaved so badly with my mother-in-law. I was bound to have this disease. If I had listened to this knowledge earlier, I would not have committed this sin. I would have led a pure life. I would have made the soul of my mother-in-law also happy, and would have made my life successful.”

Listening to the abovementioned statements, the daughter-in-law of Rambhakt embraced her friend (that female devotee) and cried bitterly. She could not stop herself for half an hour. After a lot of consolation, she stopped sobbing, and while crying, she described the way she behaved with her father-in-law. She also mentioned about the humane nature of her father-in-law that – ‘He never even mentioned to his son that your wife is behaving so badly with me. Even when asked by his son he only used to say, “Son, there is no shortcoming in the service. She is a daughter of a very good family. We are lucky that she came to our house. She has made our home prosperous.”  I, the sinner, did not soften even after listening to these words because a layer of sinful deeds had been laid on my soul. That layer of sins has been shed after listening to the satsang two-three times. Good thoughts have started arising in the soul.’

After listening to the satsang for three days, devotee Rambhakt, his grandchildren and daughter-in-law returned home. Even when the grandchildren saw other small satsangi children performing the service of feeding and offering water to the devotees, they also started serving. After returning home, both brother and sister brought a bucket full of water for their grandfather and said, “Grandfather! Have a bath.” Rambhakt said, “Children! You will have a stomach ache.  Do not lift so much of weight. I will bring it myself.” The children said, “Guru ji said in the satsang that – By serving others, one only gets benefits. One does not face any crisis. If we will eat chapatti, then our stomach will get filled. If we will serve others, we will earn merits. Even if one has a disease, it gets cured by doing bhakti and serving others. Many brother-devotees were telling in the satsang that – “We used to remain ill. After taking initiation (naam), we started doing whatever service we could do. We became healthy. Doctors had given up hope. Look at the prescriptions of our medicines. We were undergoing treatment for four years. Now we do not take any medicine.” (The same evidence is also in Rigved Mandal 10 Sukt 161 Mantra 2 that -  If a patient is on the verge of dying, that is, even if one has an incurable disease, if he/she starts doing bhakti, then God brings him/her back from the mouth of death. By making him/her healthy, God provides hundred percent life, that is, full age to that person. – Author)

            Just then the daughter-in-law came and said, “Father! Have a bath. Leave your dhoti here itself. I will wash it.” Rambhakt said, “Daughter, you have to do so many household chores – cook food, fetch water, look after the animals. I will wash it myself. My leg has also become alright now. Only a slight limp is remaining.” After having bath, Rambhakt changed his dhoti and started washing the dirty dhoti. At that very moment, the children snatched his dhoti and took it inside and gave it to their mother. Then they took his shirt as well. They brought him another shirt. His son brought the animals’ fodder from the field and as always, looked at his father and without saying anything went ahead in the house. He saw that his wife Nirmala was preparing Halwa. He thought that there must be some festival. Then she prepared a vegetable dish and chapattis. First of all, she offered the food in two bowls to Guru-God, and then putting the vegetable dish, chapattis and the Halwa in one plate, took it to her father-in-law, and said, “Father! Have food. You must be hungry. We have come from a long journey.” Rambhakt said, “Daughter! I will not be able to digest this. Bring dry chapattis for me. I will become ill.” Rambhakt thought that driven by emotions, this daughter will serve me well today, but my son will reproach her because he does not have the knowledge of the satsang. There might be a conflict in the house. Meanwhile, the boy also came there. He said to his wife, “Father is right. Take the food inside.” Father’s room was on the street. The children’s room was inside. The wife said, “Shut up. I have accumulated a lot of sins. Now I will myself serve father.” The boy became quiet. Rambhakt gave some halwa to both the grandchildren. When he gave it to his daughter-in-law, she said, “What will you eat? There is a even a lot more of Halwa Prasad at home. Father, you eat it. If you will not eat it, my soul will cry.” Devotee Rambhakt thought of Gurudev-God and ate the food. Every day his daughter-in-law herself fed him soft and hot chapattis. She washed his clothes daily and said, “Father! Do Bhajan.”

            One day, Rambhakt’s paternal aunt’s son Ramniwas came. Rambhakt embraced him and said, “O Brother! Our house has become a heaven by your grace.” Devotee Ramniwas said, “O Son of my maternal uncle, Ramniwas has done nothing. It is a miracle of the word-power of Gurudevji. You and I used to play the game ‘Batti-Danda’ together earlier. If I had to do anything, I would have done it long ago. Guru ji was saying, “Rambhakt was a devotee in the previous births. Due to his affection towards his family, he had committed a mistake in the code of conduct of bhakti. As a result of that, he has faced all these hardships. Now he had become highly distressed. Then he has come with you. Otherwise, you had asked him so many times earlier that – ‘Come with me to satsang’, but he was blinded by affection. This suffering and the behaviour of his daughter-in-law became a blessing for him.

            Kabir Ji has stated that: -

Kabir, sukh ke maathe patthar pado, jo naam hriday se jay |
Balihaari va dukh ke, jo pal-pal Ram rataaye ||

        Meaning: - O God! Do not give me so much happiness that I forget you. Always keep giving me a sorrow by which I remember God every moment. I am thankful to that sorrow due to which I got the refuge of God.

            Devotee Rambhakt said to Devotee Ramniwas, “Now take my son Prem Singh to the satsang. He will also be emancipated.” In the next satsang that had to take place after a month, Devotee Ramniwas came and took Prem Singh along with him with the excuse of taking him to his house. From his house, he took him to the Satsang. They stayed in the ashram for three days and listened to the Satsang. When he listened to the stories of the experiences of other older devotees, he fell in love with the satsang. Devotee Rambhakt’s family got completely transformed. By doing bhakti and service, they got their welfare done. 

FAQs about "A Father Forgives All Possible Mistakes of Children"

Q.1 What is the primary message conveyed in the article?

The central message of the article is the unconditional forgiveness that a father extends to his children.

Q.2 What role does a father play in a family?

A father serves as a crucial role model for his children, imparting moral values and guiding them towards becoming virtuous individuals. His love encompasses forgiveness for their mistakes.

Q. 3 Why is forgiveness considered significant?

Forgiveness holds significance as it enables individuals to move forward from past grievances. When we forgive someone, we acknowledge that their actions were not necessarily right but release our anger and resentment.

Q.4 What part does Satsang play in one's life?

Satsang plays a vital role in an individual's life by guiding them on the path of devotion and connecting them with the divine, which bestows blessings upon devotees who maintain a strong connection with their chosen Guru.

Q.5 How does Satsang contribute to improving the dynamics of a family?

Satsang promotes values such as harmony, respect, love, trust, and mutual respect within a family. By adhering to spiritual teachings and following divine guidance, a devotee becomes a more noble individual, resulting in an improved family dynamic.


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Ramswaroop Upadhyay

I resonated with your story because I'm facing a similar situation with my daughter-in-law. Despite us following a Guru and their teachings on moral duties, she continues to mistreat both me and my wife. It's puzzling that despite engaging in worship, her behavior towards us hasn't improved. This makes me wonder, if worship has the power to change people's minds, why isn't it affecting her treatment of us?

Satlok Ashram

We're glad that our articles are reaching and helping people in their times of need. The modern trend of grown-up children neglecting their responsibilities towards their parents is indeed disheartening. The decline of morals and ethics is concerning. Your connection with a Guru holds potential, but it seems that your Guru is not complete. In such cases, genuine transformation is challenging. A complete Guru imparts true spiritual knowledge and impels individuals to adhere to a divine constitution. This, in turn, instills a sense of accountability, dissuading them from wronging others due to the fear of reciprocal consequences. By embracing the guidance of a complete Guru like Sant Rampal Ji Maharaj and reading the book "Jeene Ki Rah," you and your family could discover solutions to your predicament.

Jivan Prasad

Your article accurately reflects the present times. However, I consider myself fortunate as my family takes excellent care of me, despite my age of 60+. Given this, I don't feel the need to partake in spiritual discourses or seek initiation from a Guru to address these matters.

Satlok Ashram

Dear reader, we appreciate your engagement with our article. It's wonderful that your family provides you with such care and comfort during your later years. Your contentment is a result of your virtuous actions in past lives, leading you to such a supportive family. While having a harmonious family and material prosperity are important, the teachings of a complete Guru encompass more—they pave the path to salvation. The pursuit of spiritual knowledge and initiation isn't solely for worldly gains but for ultimate liberation. The book "Jeene Ki Rah" and the spiritual discourses of Sant Rampal Ji Maharaj can offer a comprehensive understanding of life's journey and the core purpose of human existence. This wisdom extends beyond present circumstances and towards the profound goal of spiritual enlightenment.